BY THE LEFT

“Beware of left-wing intellectuals” said Courtney as he fiddled with his cats-whisker aerial. Ignoring the remark I suggested to my friend that as he was not short of a bob or two he should dump the contraption he was working on and invest in a decent digital radio.

“Nonsense” Courtney replied, “If this contraption as you call it was good enough for my wise old granny it’s good enough for me: I picked up Hilversum last week, anyway as I suspect you haven’t called to discuss my wireless why are you here”?

“I’ve started taking bridge lessons” I told him. I went on to explain what a marvellous game it was; how there were so many facets to it: you had to learn how to evaluate your hand, how to bid correctly, how to make a contract and defend against one.

“How does this affect me?” he asked.

“Well” I replied “I thought you could join me, come with me to the lessons, when we think the time is right we could become members of a local club: we would be a partnership. I’m sure you will enjoy playing such a stimulating game”. Courtney gave a non-committal shrug and it was then that I over-played my hand. “Lots of famous people play”.

“Such as?” Courtney asked.

“Well for a start there are members of the House of Lords, Baroness Billingham and Baroness Henig play and Bill Gates is a very keen player”

“Bah; just as I thought” said Courtney “a game for ruddy left-wing intellectuals. Thank you but no thank you”.

Should there be any left-wing intellectuals out there looking for a bridge partner I am available.

THINGS THEY ARE A CHANGING

Time was when bridge was very much the preserve of the middle and upper classes. The pastime was usually an after dinner affair with the gentlemen wearing dinner suits and  black bow ties; the ladies were adorned with Ostrich feathers and smoked cigarettes through long jade holders, occasionally Noel Coward was on hand to tinkle the ivories. Agatha Christie was very much of this milieu; she had her Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot solve many a baffling crime with his knowledge of the game, if you had a few bob in the bank and a stately pile those were the days!

With the growing popularity of duplicate bridge all that has changed: the Baronial Hall setting has been superseded by the local Church Hall, dress code is now the scruffier the better. International players are likely to turn up when representing their country wearing a grubby tee-shirt bearing the inscription ‘bridge players do it sitting down’.

It is now what you know not who that counts; egalitarianism not inequality matters and who can argue against that? Perhaps Dame Maggie Smith and the Downton Abbey crowd may raise an eyebrow or two but nobody else cares.

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